Merry Media Wish-List!!

A short list of records that I would be listening to these days if money were no issue:

Mount Eerie "Wind's Poem"
No Age "Losing Feeling"
Deer Tick "Born on Flag Day"
Mountain Goats "The Life of the World to Come"
Tegan & Sara "Sainthood"
Against Me! "White Crosses"
Jawbox "For Your Own Special Sweetheart" Islands "Vapours" Monsters of Folk
Dinosaur Jr's "Farm"
Bowerbird's new one
Volcano Choir "Unmap"
Yaysayer "Odd Blood" out in Feb '10
Vampire Weekend "Contra" out 1/12/20
Mighty Mighty BossTones "Pin Points and Gin Joints"
Fucked Up "Do they Know it's Christmas" single
...and I want to buy the Bouncing Souls' "Ghosts on the Boardwalk" even though I already own all the songs.






Some books I'd like to read:
Jonathan Safron Foer's "Eating Animals"
Mark Andersen & Mark Jenkins' "Dance of Days"
George Wendt "Drinking With George"
Nick Hornby "Juliet, Naked"
Chuck Klosterman "Eating the Dinosaur"
Greg Pratos "Grunge is Dead"
Amy Sedaris "Book of Liz"
Flan O'Brian "Poor Mouth"
and...
"Our Noise: The Merge Records Story" by Mac & Laura from Superchunk

Get ready to (Scott) Strapp on the Creed bag!

So, everyone can get pumped 'cuz Creed has decided to re-group and record a new record titled "Full Circle". I know what you're thinking....'awesome, fuckin' Creeeeeed, kick butt'.
Yea, wow, great, Creed. I missed these guys. OH-NO-I-DIDN'T. They sucked the first time around. Apparently Spin magazine rated "Full Circle" as a "fall album that matters most." Yeah, OK. There was no reason that this group of jerks should have gotten back together to produce more shitty alt-rawk. AND not only is the music terrible, but they are also a bunch of dingleberry loser Christians. It's kind of like America's Nickleback, but instead of singing about pulling down lady pants and how things look better in mouths Creed sings about jesus, moses, and shit. (Other notable similarities: beautiful long locks, tight goatees, millions of idiot automaton fans, sweet riffage, shitloads of money, stewing in their own awefulness). You know, just because you're wealthy and tricked millions of other synchophants in to buying your turd records doesn't give you the right to produce even more. To paraphrase Pet Cemetary, sometimes what's dead shouldn't come back.

And this guy....remember when he was in that sex tape with Kid Rock? Yea, the one featuring "butt-play". Plus, all the drugs and alcohol. And butt-play with armsss wide ooooopen! Wow, Scott, what would GOD think about that?
Scott said:
“A lot of [my] songs have a sexuality (ie: butt-play) to them, a vibe to them. ... I call it sexy rock and roll.” To once again paraphrase Pet Cemetary, maybe the soil of Scott Stapp's heart is stonier...

Why do people hate Creed and Nickleback so much? Evidently tons of morons like these bands because they sell tons of records. I don't know, whatever, nevermind.

Catchin' up with the Gutte

Steve Fucking Guttenburg.
Where you been, buddy?
If I got in a fight with someone I'd want Steve on my side, givin' a fist to the face of the whole effin' world, or whatever. He's all like, "Don't startle me whilst I'm on my a.m. jog, muthafuckaaaahhh!!!!" SMACK!!

Some thoughts on Nickleback

"...they’ve nailed it with “Something in Your Mouth” which I think is one of the most complete Nickelback songs ever.
- Theregoesthefear.com

I don't think that this is a compliment. Just yesterday I was saying, "UHHH, have your heard that fucking song on the radio? It sounds like fucking Nickleback but it sound like Def Leppard or something...it's so awful and the lyrics are so fucking stupid. It makes me sick to think about."

So, it turns out that it was Nickleback. Who the fuck are these assholes? Who do they think they're fooling anyway? Evidently they're fooling, like, everybody int he world because I keep hearing this stupid song and I don't listen to the radio. I heard it blasting out of some dude's dumb red trans am, I heard it flipping through the radio, I hear it when I dream. When I happen to hear it it's like I'm frozen by its ultimate stupidity and I can't help but listen to the whole song.And it makes me angry when I hear it. Livid.

"I want every single song to be amazing. That's what I want to hear, so that's what we have to try to provide to our fans." - Chad Kroeger of Nickelback

Yes, amazing song. This guy is Chad Kroeger and he is responsible for this song as he is the voice (and goatee, and shit eating grin, and stupid fucking face) or Nickleback. How did these people become famous. Why do kids waste their time with the terrible sounds they make? This band gets (and deserves) consistently bad reviews for their shit albums. But just look at Chad here. He's all like, "Hey baby, you naughty thing, you look so much cuter with something in your mouth." Yeah, those are real lyrics from this song. It's sort of like poetry, but only if you have a goatee, are from Canada, can't read, and have parents who are related. I hate this band.

So, let's take a peak at a sample of the lyrics:

"Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body
They say its over budget but you’d pay her just to touch it
come on!
Pretty little lady with the pretty pink thong
every sugar daddy hittin on her all night long
Doesn’t care about the money she could be with anybody,
ain’t it funny how the honey wanted you all along You naughty thing
You’re ripping up the dance floor honey
You naughty women
You shake your ass around for everyone
You’re such a mover
I love the way you dance with anybody
The way you swing
And tease them all by sucking on your thumb
Your so much cooler when you never pull it out
Cause you look so much cuter with Something in Your Mouth"

Seriously, ....sexism.... misogyny, but beyond just being totally offensive, it's just plain stupid. Way to go guys. This song is even better than the one they wrote about liking some girl better when her pants were around her feet. Nice. Clrealy these fellas are great thinkers...almost like modern day philosophers.

ADDED BONUS:
"I believe in Jesus Christ, but I also believe in a lot of different things ... I'm more like -- if you're a good person and you got a good soul, there is life beyond earth, and I don't think they just have to go through Jesus Christ." - Chad Kroeger

Oh yeah Chad? Well, what do you think Jesus thinks about your new hit single? Does Jesus Christ look way cuter with somthing in his mouth too?

Nickelback have a new record in stores called "Dark Horse" . It was produced by Mutt Lang, who did in fact produce Def Leppard's zillion-selling 1987 album Hysteria. I suggest that you pick up a copy. Psych!

food for thought

Here's a salad I made with cilantro, avacado, tomatos, red + green peppers and some mescalin mix. YUM.

Here is one of my favortie things to eat: bread, cheese, and olive oil with garlic. I think we eat this at least once a week, usually without cheese. We cut dairy from our diet (for these reasons!!), but treated ourselves to cheese from Shelburne Farms, which is right down the road from where we live. The bread is also locally made and really delicious.


We didn't have anything to eat so I made these veggie burgers out of a can of black beans, some bread crumbs, some catsup, garlic, and spices that we had lying around. They turned out pretty tasty, but could use something to make them a little less squishy. I love grilling shit, and since we are not meat eaters (because...) we try and experiment with grilling all sorts of veggies. I used some chopsticks with the squash and zucchini. Now I'm hungry...

grad school losers

I was looking at Social Work masters programs on the world wide web (the internet) and found this photo:

Maybe I should consider going here.

Team Work! Great Job! Yay!!!

a big tortilla chip mix up

I'm no dummy, but up until my mid teens I thought that the name of Cool Ranch Doritos refered to one who worked on a ranch and was cool, like a kick-ass ranch hand. This rancher was fuckin' cool as ice. Don't mess with him.
One day I mentioned to a friend that I found it odd that Doritos chose to name their torilla chips after a cool dude and wondered what the hell a cool rancher would taste like if you licked him. Maybe a cool rancher's sweaty lower back tastes just like (duh) ranch dressing. I was informed that it the chips are in fact supposed to taste like the dressing, and laughed at. I guess I deserved that.

Coincidently, if you do a Google Image search for "Cool Rancher" this guy's image comes up.



Given this fact, I think that maybe Frito-Lay should really consider changing their marketing campaign. Maybe I should write them a letter.