I'm no dummy, but up until my mid teens I thought that the name of Cool Ranch Doritos refered to one who worked on a ranch and was cool, like a kick-ass ranch hand. This rancher was fuckin' cool as ice. Don't mess with him.One day I mentioned to a friend that I found it odd that Doritos chose to name their torilla chips after a cool dude and wondered what the hell a cool rancher would taste like if you licked him. Maybe a cool rancher's sweaty lower back tastes just like (duh) ranch dressing. I was informed that it the chips are in fact supposed to taste like the dressing, and laughed at. I guess I deserved that.
Coincidently, if you do a Google Image search for "Cool Rancher" this guy's image comes up.
Given this fact, I think that maybe Frito-Lay should really consider changing their marketing campaign. Maybe I should write them a letter.
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