Some thoughts on Nickleback

"...they’ve nailed it with “Something in Your Mouth” which I think is one of the most complete Nickelback songs ever.
- Theregoesthefear.com

I don't think that this is a compliment. Just yesterday I was saying, "UHHH, have your heard that fucking song on the radio? It sounds like fucking Nickleback but it sound like Def Leppard or something...it's so awful and the lyrics are so fucking stupid. It makes me sick to think about."

So, it turns out that it was Nickleback. Who the fuck are these assholes? Who do they think they're fooling anyway? Evidently they're fooling, like, everybody int he world because I keep hearing this stupid song and I don't listen to the radio. I heard it blasting out of some dude's dumb red trans am, I heard it flipping through the radio, I hear it when I dream. When I happen to hear it it's like I'm frozen by its ultimate stupidity and I can't help but listen to the whole song.And it makes me angry when I hear it. Livid.

"I want every single song to be amazing. That's what I want to hear, so that's what we have to try to provide to our fans." - Chad Kroeger of Nickelback

Yes, amazing song. This guy is Chad Kroeger and he is responsible for this song as he is the voice (and goatee, and shit eating grin, and stupid fucking face) or Nickleback. How did these people become famous. Why do kids waste their time with the terrible sounds they make? This band gets (and deserves) consistently bad reviews for their shit albums. But just look at Chad here. He's all like, "Hey baby, you naughty thing, you look so much cuter with something in your mouth." Yeah, those are real lyrics from this song. It's sort of like poetry, but only if you have a goatee, are from Canada, can't read, and have parents who are related. I hate this band.

So, let's take a peak at a sample of the lyrics:

"Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body
They say its over budget but you’d pay her just to touch it
come on!
Pretty little lady with the pretty pink thong
every sugar daddy hittin on her all night long
Doesn’t care about the money she could be with anybody,
ain’t it funny how the honey wanted you all along You naughty thing
You’re ripping up the dance floor honey
You naughty women
You shake your ass around for everyone
You’re such a mover
I love the way you dance with anybody
The way you swing
And tease them all by sucking on your thumb
Your so much cooler when you never pull it out
Cause you look so much cuter with Something in Your Mouth"

Seriously, ....sexism.... misogyny, but beyond just being totally offensive, it's just plain stupid. Way to go guys. This song is even better than the one they wrote about liking some girl better when her pants were around her feet. Nice. Clrealy these fellas are great thinkers...almost like modern day philosophers.

ADDED BONUS:
"I believe in Jesus Christ, but I also believe in a lot of different things ... I'm more like -- if you're a good person and you got a good soul, there is life beyond earth, and I don't think they just have to go through Jesus Christ." - Chad Kroeger

Oh yeah Chad? Well, what do you think Jesus thinks about your new hit single? Does Jesus Christ look way cuter with somthing in his mouth too?

Nickelback have a new record in stores called "Dark Horse" . It was produced by Mutt Lang, who did in fact produce Def Leppard's zillion-selling 1987 album Hysteria. I suggest that you pick up a copy. Psych!